To my Son

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 Son, I’ve been thinking a lot about you, and I want to write this because I love you and because you deserve to hear it from me.

I wasn’t a perfect father. I yelled sometimes, I got in your face when I thought you were wrong. Once or twice, I even gave you a light smack on the back of the head when you did something careless. But I never wanted to hurt you — and I hope you know that.

You weren’t the easiest kid either. I still remember the rubber bands, and how close you came to taking out your sister’s eye with one. You tested limits, you pushed buttons — but that’s what kids do. And through it all, I tried to guide you the best I could.

I grew up in a home where pain was delivered for fun, where abuse was constant. I made a choice not to pass that on. If I ever scared you, I’m sorry — but I hope you can see I was trying to do better than what I was given.

What I do know, without doubt, is this: I love you. That has always been true. And no matter what distance or silence may exist between us now, that love has never gone away.

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